Halloween Party – A Year After the Synagogue Shooting

a year goes quick but it’s enough of a time shift   a mind shift
to pretend we were in paradise with our friends   a steaming mug
of cider   I had a handle on     donning a black wig    forgetting
seemed the natural progression of things    no masks    no monsters
in our midst    no guns   in our field of vision    truly this was
paradise   sometimes it seems a risk every time we enter public
space   this morning I felt there were sinister forces     beyond
my control   that I couldn’t blame on hangover   it was in the gob
of spider ferns unfolding    it was in the wind     a stranger waving
to me   waiting at a crosswalk     America I only feel safe inside
my shadowed home   doors locked   curtains drawn    I felt the lips
of unspeakable tragedy drawing me in for a kiss   and I pulled my
mouth away    to run to Netflix      Mindhunter      Manhunt:
Unabomber     Dexter    so many monsters   wearing masks   this
paranoia’s a fog    lingering     never have I wanted a dog  more
just to add one layer of protection    past the window’s breaking
glass    the shards and sharp teeth   are everywhere this life   if I
knew where  to look and where I know I should

(originally published in Carpe Bloom, Winter 2019)

In Charleston, the Day After the Shooting (2015)

I.

a statue of a dead confederate soldier
looms over the city

community signatures
on the broken cast of a thin tree

the resounding message in red
marker: LOVE WINS

(if love is a gun smoking heavenward
and if love bodies slumped in pews)

II.

a fellow wanderer asks me to photograph him
in front of the scene

he smiles

then takes his iPhone
back
among the strangers

III.

I was a Catholic boy

lost
my way as a man

yet in presence of steeple
and jagged and mighty
tragedy

arrows of prayer quiver inside me
then anger
at tourists and cameras

I know I’m part of
this exhibitionism problem

we’re a crowd of resounding bells
waiting for the next funeral to begin

 

(originally published in The Magnolia Review, Summer 2018)