I Bought Overpriced Binoculars at an Estate Sale

The weekend is not long enough to complain
of having too much fun.
We need to fill our house with junk.
Drove into the wilderness and parked
on a verdant suburban hill. Arrived
early but stood in line. Hoarders
stacked their bags with
postcards and pictures and
I just had to buy the binoculars
for 35 and you said 35?
Hey, the family is dead and
I was a kid in the candy
aisle. I wanted to store
my free time closer to me
so we got second breakfast
at the Aspinwall Riverfront
Park and I utilized the specs
to pull a goose in the
river close to me! Spectacle
in the monotony!
Rest is underrated and–
we’re critical– undeserved
but I’m putting the hours in.
Raking through thrift stores
of junk and sink-drain art. No
one wants to buy any of this
but birdcage carts fill fast.
Bought a backpack at
the Morningside yard
market trudging through
sun, red forehead. Scammed
again by a hamburger
helper (you said it’s
called a burger basket)
but I tried and couldn’t
use it on the gas grill
in moaning distance
of whatever zombies
were in my neighborhood
today, and I ascended
four steps to get
a better view
to find nothing in our
alleys but laughter
and I peered through
magnifications
to leave my eyes
empty-handed
but satisfied,
this being
the way
to spend.

(originally published in Stickman Review, Fall 2022)

Reasons to Leave

cooped in a house this depressed era    winter
summer you say I’m really your friend  I believe
it now but before in the spring    it was pinwheels

could’ve been poets seeking nothing but tea   coffee
chocolates         grand canyon space  understating
worlds of difference     your activism accurate

paintings hang over white   walls      laughter
your echo screams through town I have a bucket
of these memories splashing out      on the short

walk to your place     I can’t stop feeding   monsters
you laugh at me onscreen    onstage
our common ground is both of us   leave as far

as we can go    to stay an other

(originally published in Avatar Review, Summer 2021)

At Azorean Café

The party behind me laughs
in my sadness. The blue walls hang
hook in me. Even the painted violets–
islands. How can a restaurant make
my table larger? I am spreading out–
a tendonless goo– and still, the
server checks on me. I swear she says
have the Portuguese custard carcass.

(originally published in The Los Angeles Review of Los Angeles, Summer 2020)

deeply a pot of cheap ramen

betting is fun I bet were I rich I would lose a lot
more than now losing’s not a competition though
at its core it is an apple beneath a heap of peaches
shower soap I never liked peaches have you ever
sniffed steam emanating from chicken Top Ramen
it is not clean it is not soap I dispose of everything
the flame I inhale plastic I ingest plastic waiting on
the clock to change from 12:23 to 12:24 I pour my meal
into plate-bowl snorting steam never inhale too deeply a
pot of cheap ramen I know I am saving money I know I am
betting a lot on fake economies blowing my breath onto
unpackaged carcinogens Michael once said in our apartment he
hoped to never see me eat this shit again this was years ago
soggy noodle soup coiled springs I hold in my mouth tongue
salt nothing but the salt I then lick off my chin it’s nothing just
pennies of salt I will be hungry again soon so why must I savor
every writhing U at bowl’s bottom like each bite will be my last

(originally published in Count Seeds With Me [Ethel Zine & Micro-Press], Spring, 2022)

To Those Who Say High School Is the Best Four Years

Being in marching band did not mean I avoided
everyone else in our Catholic school of zombies
marching to the beat of our grandparents’ music–

tradition in Massillon, Ohio is sacrosanct. God
first, then football. Green fields of broken heads,
eternal salvation the end-of-life touchdown.

I find tradition such a demeaning, self-fulfilling
prophecy. That there could be an expiration date
for the best years of your life, all of which
escaped the womb of your tiny hometown.

(originally published in Fine Lines, 2022)

101

Improv class was how
I learned to say what
I wanted to say to you–

ice became the basis
instead.
I froze on stage

into an audience of burning arms.
If limbs were currency,
I’d be rich

in dangling
inside jokes from class when
I should have let you

in on conversations we both were part of–
inches from the icebox,
our freezer.

(originally published in Rollick Magazine, Winter 2023)

Beer Pong in Your Basement

I was new to this
kind of longing

sticky all my fingers
on red fingernail cups

but I was a visitor I was a loner
I lived in my car

a couch was a luxury
four cats purred and clawed

at me I couldn’t sink anything
into the drinks. I sank

but made myths I missed
everyone in Akron everything

that happens to you
sticks to you. swish

there was a way to
live in all places at once.

Pittsburgh Columbus Akron
Los Angeles. my memories

are mine and they are selfish. I cling
to what I forget which is what

I drink away which is all
the spills over all the years

I haven’t yet wiped clean.

(originally published in The Seventh Quarry, Summer 2023)

Purple Paint

on your bed was revelation a coming
to know purple paint with third-floor
view the pines and run-down houses all
strangers because we too once only
knew each other in name then your cat
nuzzled nose against my legflesh and we
sipped on beers we left on the nightstand
to finish later when the last bitter note
lingered on our tongues

(originally published in Academy of the Heart and Mind, Spring 2023)

The Tendril

Friends seem to love it
but the flowering plant
in the bathroom creeps
me out. There is a half-
empty/full glass of water
on the shelf beside
the dinosaur-cat mug.
I wonder about that,
too. I guess it depends
on how you look at
the world: the stone-
green leaf reaches for
your hand or punches
at your jugular. I want
to say I don’t have
trust issues but
you say you’re taking
a shower and shut
the door, but I know
the steam is watering
the tendrils. These
leaps of light
I can’t provide.

(originally published in Ink Sac, Winter 2022)