The Film

Sometimes I sit at a café window
watching pedestrians pass and I think

all the people in this life I’ll never
know,
these strangers in the space

we share, an unseen assistant
director setting up the scene and

critics will leave harsh reviews for lack of
dramatic irony, or subtle comedy, whatever

the previous scene sets up, or seemed to
be leading to, but the longer I move

through its runtime, the more I fear
a lack of coherence, that Chekhov’s

son never grows into what Chekhov
demands– the boy dies a few acts

later, randomly, and still the film marches
on, aiming the lens high toward some plastic

profundity with its pervasive god
and blue sky gazing through a tall

circle of trees, leaves swaying, keyboard
guitar, so frustrating, and later will be an op-ed

from the Production Coordinator that outlines
the sacrifices needed when the rented lens

shattered, dropped from a rooftop, costing a
hundred thousand, and the producers had yelled

about budget cuts yet still wanted an endless
duration, excess cast members extricated with

no follow-up but others too much, your dead
dad referenced with each hailstorm, you grow

tired of the metaphor then sit in the park
watching people pass when a past lover

from act twenty-seven enters stage left
with a pup and you wave, a stunt, restless

limb, in case she asks, which she won’t,
she’ll avoid eye contact because she is

no longer in the contract, can’t say a word
without pay, but still she will

wonder if you are the same actor,
and I’ll have to rewind a long while

to see if you are.

(originally published in A God You Believed In [Pinhole Poetry, 2023])

The View at Work: Dump Trucks

Look at this kingdom of garbage 
trucks. A survey underneath
the 31st St. Bridge, where I spend
my horrible days collecting.
It is Friday night and there is
pressure to deliver. I told you
nothing we do here is important,
so take a deep breath
. Smell
the compost of contemporary
capitalism. My blue brain
has ceased to need a function.
My winter is every man’s
desire for himself
. It is waiting
for my back to give and bear
the weight of the waste:
the compacted nature of my life,
squandering, squandering,
squandering the ineffable.

(originally published in A God You Believed In - Pinhole Poetry, 2023)

This Vestibule

& within this vestibule the sighing & side-glances,
demands for just-asked-for jackets, & axes dealt
to execs in their excess, & star-born nephews needing
validation; & on this thin strip of wooden walkway,
in the gaze of dead deer, a floor air bubble that shocks
& wilders passers-by who have walked upon it one
thousand times, beside the gunshots on television
(free film school for everyone!) where we have
seen passive-aggression, passing gremlins, & a red-
state journeyman who lusts for connection along-
side extras lost from fittings (if they just turned right
past the blue truck, an open door you can’t see
from here, here, where we have waited for a call
sheet for hours), & once, there was a heavy storm
& we watched a CATERING cone withstand
the rain & hail & screeching wind & we were on the
inside, too, through the glass, rooting everyone on–
yet hollered in catharsis when it tumbled down.

(originally published in Osmosis Press, Fall 2023)

This American Factory

Work snips years
it abducts me
from living

and the drinks are heavy
after
in my liver

my tenuous body
if I could live
in a less-consumed way

outside
with the grass
not overgrowing

my head
in the mountains
with a beach-blue

overlook
and while I’m
fantasizing

I want a bug force
field to keep
the pests away

I want to glide
over the landscape
a less-ambitious Magneto

breathing in
high-altitude sea breeze
until the stress is gone

and I deflate
into the ocean
though I don’t know

how to swim
see
even my daydreams

end with darkness

(originally published in The Wise Owl, Spring 2023)

Zone 28

Tara, the arcade was not the answer
(air hockey shots & bowling)   such
fantastical surrendering     with hollow
hunger     & the terrapin match /
between dinosaurs Maureen was
drunk & screaming. typical
punch bowl.    red & strung
with lights I lied about my blue
ice I said     I did not have enough
but I drove to Taco Bell next door
& ate five soft ones     texted
you I made it (though I live somewhere
different now)    home    if I move
how will the wind know
the difference?

(originally published in DREICH, Fall 2023)

Production Dinner, 2022

I.

  tonight it is free to clink
           glasses with luxury
      at the steakhouse downtown

              my first
                 Manhattan
               since Day One

       I have been
                              red meat squeezed
                                   of all its blood a puddle
        at your recommendation

                on our plates a weight
                       to our long
         day
                  but hey
                                                    a hundred bucks?

     you produced The Hunger
                                                Games

& film’s
                        a hungry hundred days
                                     believing

the dream is not a struggle

II.

                                              trout on dry
                              land among
          the cattle

                              wriggling
                    out the net we lose ourselves
              in work

yet
                           gorge
       on appetizers

          bacon-wrapped around
each other

                    the shrimp
is not taboo
           nor endless
                                 with buttery bread

I can’t end
                              this twelve-hour
               shift

III.

I long to spend
free time free

but you close
your eyes when

you talk to me
like you can’t

bear to sit
at the same table

in the down-
trodden way

I say hey
this could be

my favorite
restaurant

over and over
to no one

(originally published in bluepepper, Spring 2023)

Endless Imagination

The bowtie light switch has a mustache.
What does that say about me? I’ve spent
too much time seeing whatever I want
in office objects. Tape gun forklift.
Soap giraffe. All I want is to love
what I have however diminutive
the love, however diminutive
the day stretches out in consuming
all other days. My endless
imagination boards me
on its paper airplane,
the rock slungshot the first
time I read a book and never
arrived at my destination.

(originally published in OpenDoor Magazine, Winter 2022)

To Billy (From Irie)

When I first saw the broom stand
upright in the room, I thought, witchcraft.
I couldn’t sleep for days after that.
Not because it tumbled and crashed
to the floor in a roar of unforeseen
thunder, but because it was thrilling
to see the way we could play with
gravitational pull. Can my chewy
be tossed across the office with
a knuckleball axis tilt at the end?
I’ve witnessed tricks, your robot-
walk into a wall, your near-miss
backflip kick to the hanging amber
lights off the ceiling. I see everything
that happens here from my suite
on the floor, which is why, one day,
when the moon is tugging the world
the right way, I’ll sneak out my pillow
into the hall, past the conference room.
When you search for me, I will stand
on two legs in the shadows, ready
to capture your reaction on camera.

(originally published in Communicators League, Fall 2021)

The Producer at the End of Pre-Production

gorge on whoppers we’re making a movie

this bag of salmon we’re making a movie

sleeping pills we’re making a movie

thirteen hours plus we’re making a movie

I won’t eat pizza we’re making a movie

Caesar salad in the storm we’re making a movie

no one goes home we’re making a movie

watery leftovers we’re making a movie

dropkicked phones we’re making a movie

at the paper cutter we’re making a movie

beets at crafty we’re making a movie

there’s nothing to eat we’re making a movie

thousands of packages we’re making a movie

we’re making the movie Monday what will you be doing

are you going to miss us we’re making the movie

(originally published in Mad Swirl, Summer 2020)