Sadness is a chewable tablet
in the fall. The riptide
returns with a little less
water in the hourglass
than yesterday. There is a bottle
with your name on it, a plastic
orange, pills you don’t believe in
but I believe in you and your bare-
branch will. Every year it all ends
and each time,
leaves appear again.
(originally published in Chronogram, Spring 2025)
the crows are stage left with nails in their beaks
it took centuries for modern civilization to collapse
but it is happening now and we are all here for it
looking toward the future (naïve to hold a telescope)
I see ants collapsed just outside a giant mound of
peanut butter powder coated in poison we were
feeding ourselves (and we fed so long) with words
and power with which we chose to destroy ourselves
and we are all here for it drowning in the rising seas
(originally published in Flights, Fall 2023)
I am begging for you to be well.
At Spirit in Lawrenceville.
Lung cancer
I can’t
stand this for you. I
love you enough to know
this world
is too crowded without
you & me standing
around, heads bobbing,
at another live show
at a smoky dive bar,
asking each other
what we want next
& how much more
dearly in this life can
we stand to lose?
(originally published in Ink Pantry, 2025)
This the getaway
we take our butterflies to
yearly– the wings, do you
have a sinking
feeling? And slugs
slither along the sauna.
We toss cold water
over hot coals
of indifference.
There used to be no
privacy screen
over the windows
so we were on full
display, an everyman’s
Monet or Mona Lisa.
On the last day
of our relationship
you asked, do I look okay?
I said you
look okay. More swimming,
more coming-up-for-air,
coughing the words
out, choking on the heat
inside each one.
(originally published in Red Tree Review, Spring 2024)
Sometimes I sit at a café window
watching pedestrians pass and I think
all the people in this life I’ll never
know, these strangers in the space
we share, an unseen assistant
director setting up the scene and
critics will leave harsh reviews for lack of
dramatic irony, or subtle comedy, whatever
the previous scene sets up, or seemed to
be leading to, but the longer I move
through its runtime, the more I fear
a lack of coherence, that Chekhov’s
son never grows into what Chekhov
demands– the boy dies a few acts
later, randomly, and still the film marches
on, aiming the lens high toward some plastic
profundity with its pervasive god
and blue sky gazing through a tall
circle of trees, leaves swaying, keyboard
guitar, so frustrating, and later will be an op-ed
from the Production Coordinator that outlines
the sacrifices needed when the rented lens
shattered, dropped from a rooftop, costing a
hundred thousand, and the producers had yelled
about budget cuts yet still wanted an endless
duration, excess cast members extricated with
no follow-up but others too much, your dead
dad referenced with each hailstorm, you grow
tired of the metaphor then sit in the park
watching people pass when a past lover
from act twenty-seven enters stage left
with a pup and you wave, a stunt, restless
limb, in case she asks, which she won’t,
she’ll avoid eye contact because she is
no longer in the contract, can’t say a word
without pay, but still she will
wonder if you are the same actor,
and I’ll have to rewind a long while
to see if you are.
(originally published in A God You Believed In [Pinhole Poetry, 2023])
you threaten me with a walk
outside I acquiesced but the rain
came anyway and ended the plan
for temporary freedom in the confines
of codes covered up for the necessary
health & safety of others I love who
might love me if I could hold their
gaze for more than a moment
(originally published in Ink in Thirds, Fall 2023)
The clouds induce trance on the drive
home from work today. White sheep pile
atop each other on a ranch in Montana
until the weight of an oncoming storm
that never comes except for a stub of
rainbow that peeks from behind far hills.
In the open stretch of highway it reveals itself
as a rectangle floating in the middle of cerulean,
squiggly lines across it, a glitch of physics
my phone cannot capture. I text you from
the middle lane– soaring eighty– because
you love rainbows. You say you walked
around our block but could not find it.
When I arrive home I am filled with unknown,
spiritual vigor. We split a red, frozen pizza
then leave for a journey following our favorite
clouds above, on high alert for the rainbow.
Guided by pink translucent clouds in blue
outlines, you ask me holistically, what are your
career goals? I can’t stop searching upward,
awestruck by the air and rare beauty
in the world, in the center of our elevated
city of bridges and transitions and roads
that fall into each other in chaos you
must understand to survive. The sunset
is somewhere and I know our clouds
obscure it. I know my career involves
sacrifice but I am chasing film’s thrill.
The whims of our uppermost winds!
I have taken you along.
(originally published in I-70 Review, Summer 2024)
in the game you say it is time
to stop being obnoxious it is
morning in the year of Our
Tiger twenty twenty-two
feels like a glitch to write
over and over but living
like this with imposed
time limits before ice
scrapes off my vehicle
I lose sight of the sun
the windshield white
(originally published in Rundelania, Fall 2024)
At first was suffocating.
In my throat was a sandbag.
After I practiced pushing the door
to escape, once I learned how to remove tension–
both arms hot dog-style past my head–
I became a floating head in a dead, still ocean.
Breathing itself was a plane running the runway–
the only sound in the universe.
(originally published in Brief Wilderness, Winter 2024)
Look at this kingdom of garbage
trucks. A survey underneath
the 31st St. Bridge, where I spend
my horrible days collecting.
It is Friday night and there is
pressure to deliver. I told you
nothing we do here is important,
so take a deep breath. Smell
the compost of contemporary
capitalism. My blue brain
has ceased to need a function.
My winter is every man’s
desire for himself. It is waiting
for my back to give and bear
the weight of the waste:
the compacted nature of my life,
squandering, squandering,
squandering the ineffable.
(originally published in A God You Believed In - Pinhole Poetry, 2023)