The Film

Sometimes I sit at a café window
watching pedestrians pass and I think

all the people in this life I’ll never
know,
these strangers in the space

we share, an unseen assistant
director setting up the scene and

critics will leave harsh reviews for lack of
dramatic irony, or subtle comedy, whatever

the previous scene sets up, or seemed to
be leading to, but the longer I move

through its runtime, the more I fear
a lack of coherence, that Chekhov’s

son never grows into what Chekhov
demands– the boy dies a few acts

later, randomly, and still the film marches
on, aiming the lens high toward some plastic

profundity with its pervasive god
and blue sky gazing through a tall

circle of trees, leaves swaying, keyboard
guitar, so frustrating, and later will be an op-ed

from the Production Coordinator that outlines
the sacrifices needed when the rented lens

shattered, dropped from a rooftop, costing a
hundred thousand, and the producers had yelled

about budget cuts yet still wanted an endless
duration, excess cast members extricated with

no follow-up but others too much, your dead
dad referenced with each hailstorm, you grow

tired of the metaphor then sit in the park
watching people pass when a past lover

from act twenty-seven enters stage left
with a pup and you wave, a stunt, restless

limb, in case she asks, which she won’t,
she’ll avoid eye contact because she is

no longer in the contract, can’t say a word
without pay, but still she will

wonder if you are the same actor,
and I’ll have to rewind a long while

to see if you are.

(originally published in A God You Believed In [Pinhole Poetry, 2023])

Rectangular Rainbow

The clouds induce trance on the drive
home from work today. White sheep pile
atop each other on a ranch in Montana
until the weight of an oncoming storm
that never comes except for a stub of
rainbow that peeks from behind far hills.
In the open stretch of highway it reveals itself
as a rectangle floating in the middle of cerulean,
squiggly lines across it, a glitch of physics
my phone cannot capture. I text you from
the middle lane– soaring eighty– because
you love rainbows. You say you walked
around our block but could not find it.

When I arrive home I am filled with unknown,
spiritual vigor. We split a red, frozen pizza
then leave for a journey following our favorite
clouds above, on high alert for the rainbow.
Guided by pink translucent clouds in blue
outlines, you ask me holistically, what are your
career goals? I can’t stop searching upward,
awestruck by the air and rare beauty
in the world, in the center of our elevated
city of bridges and transitions and roads
that fall into each other in chaos you
must understand to survive. The sunset
is somewhere and I know our clouds
obscure it. I know my career involves
sacrifice but I am chasing film’s thrill.
The whims of our uppermost winds!
I have taken you along.

(originally published in I-70 Review, Summer 2024)

Some Class

Several thousand dollars
to become fancy. I wish
(upon wishes) I had
a muted suit to be
a chameleon on the
A-Train. I have sweat
in my pits and hummus
on my breath and the
world is spinning
slowly. Double shift
in opinion: the first
I am blue; the second,
confused. In all aspects
I am overworked,
hungry– eating a wrench
when I should be pulling
my own teeth out.

(originally published in The Gorko Gazette, Fall 2023)

Grays

The word just past
your grasp is deaden,
as in: I can’t believe
I’ve been at this job
for five years now.

Still, I wish I had
the fortitude
to last forever
without ominousness–

no heat death if you stare
out into infinity. No
loved ones dying
their hair black
in old age.

(originally published in DREICH, Fall 2023)

Twix

If there is a bowl
of Twix at work,
I will act apathetic

when others are
around. Alone I will
bury open wrappers

tenfold in the trash.
Perhaps I have been
watching too much

true crime television,
or lived in the U.S.
too long– standing

over candy, ripping open
Twix after inadequate
Twix, I find the initial

bite of chocolate
caramel into biscuit
enough to make me

want the whole stick,
the whole candy bowl,
everything I can have

that’s for the taking,
like anything has ever
been entitled to me.

(originally published in PPP Ezine, Winter 2023)

This American Factory

Work snips years
it abducts me
from living

and the drinks are heavy
after
in my liver

my tenuous body
if I could live
in a less-consumed way

outside
with the grass
not overgrowing

my head
in the mountains
with a beach-blue

overlook
and while I’m
fantasizing

I want a bug force
field to keep
the pests away

I want to glide
over the landscape
a less-ambitious Magneto

breathing in
high-altitude sea breeze
until the stress is gone

and I deflate
into the ocean
though I don’t know

how to swim
see
even my daydreams

end with darkness

(originally published in The Wise Owl, Spring 2023)

The End

                                         After Matt Hart

seems like a good time to say
I spent months feeling helpless
looking forward

to this indeterminate light
we’ve been dreaming about
this industry

affects people
like a natural disaster
rolling through our days

until The End
rejuvenates us
makes us hungry

for The Beginning
a road trip a flight
a movie night haven’t

had one of those
in a while     a cold
drink to jolt me

alive        alive
until the dead
extend a hand

to bring me back
and I reach
for it too

(originally published in Delta Poetry Review, Summer 2023)

A Deep Exhaustion

I have a deep exhaustion

  when an animal puts his head

      on my lap I fall

               ask anyone and they will say the weekend

      is gone too fast

                   you sleep through your dreams

                                   the train whistles

                          the beating heart

           of your partner next to you

                       asleep through the lost time you share

(originally published in Pirene’s Fountain, Summer 2024)

Temporary

I often dream of simpler times–
driving my car to a customer

with a bag full of food, and poof–
gone. Then the memory fades

in an instant. All of time
passing. Right now. Into the ether.

The clock has dropped its weary
hand a tick downward.

The other hand desperately
reaches toward the sun.

(originally published in Academy of the Heart and Mind, Spring 2023)

FWIW

All the days of work must one day
mean something, being the bastard
children of capitalism, camouflaged
labor, fingers rough from wanting
to swim financial freedom’s waters,
a belief formed from looking sky-
ward, a cosmic agriculture, roots
ever present beneath (and above)
the stadiums, what temporal
monuments we return to
day after day.

(originally published in The Waiting Room, Summer 2023)