After Millvale Music Festival, 2021

at Grist House the day is everlasting
       & we have just lived
through a pandemic.

August sun shining
                   I feel like an emperor
            owning the day
                                          til its end

the sandwich trucks
& hot dog carts
                                all of my life is good

we have just lived
through another
                           week under
                             shade of the
          everlasting days.

in all my life
   how many
                      days
  will
               I ever
                               get to feel like this?

a hundred?
                        maybe
                                         in only eighty
    years I need to
                               count
           my inventory

(originally published in Statement Magazine, 2023)

Late-Summer Saturday, 2021

we walked a horseshoe through the Strip
ginger whiskey coffee whiskey honey whiskey apple whiskey
no matter what I always see this brand-new city

slamming glasses into a blue-skied table
what’s passed around we finish swiftly
while friends attempt to maintain some order

never too early to rush into a burger order
time being what it is
we consume all we can

(originally published in DREICH Magazine, Fall 2023)

The Sword of Light

This fixture you forgot
on your back patio.

You say you are confused–
how did that turn on? It has

been months since I last visited.
I say the light is a metaphor

for our friendship. Big plants
sit in chairs in your brown-fenced

garden. Don’t know how close
to be anymore. Never get too close.

A tomato vine peeks from a planter
above you. Gardening’s a hobby,

inching toward the thirty you fear.
An August birthday during the lost

summer and you toss a squeaky
blue ball in my general direction,

more wildly as the night goes on,
and Lola retrieves it every time.

You say she slept upstairs with
you for the first time. We joke

she didn’t fall immediately, that you
had to tell her to turn the television

off, stamp her cigarette out. With our masks,
I only see your eyes smile. I hope you notice

mine. It is dark, as it has been for months,
and we try to stay illuminated, despite

these killer particles suspended
somewhere in the talk between us.

(originally published in Bindweed Magazine, Summer 2023)

Two Best Friends

I skip pebbles in milk
while Colorado calls

my name an open field
prayer hands clasped

with two best friends
I have not seen

in years pass clouds
over the Rockies and I

am drunk staring at
my past blue yearning

the rain-drenched range
I write and ring cells

still new cities call
my name with headphones

on I play The Last of Us
in dark glow hands reach

for two best friends I sit
in silence happily

(originally published in Pennsylvania Bards Western PA Poetry Review, Spring 2023)

Reasons to Leave

cooped in a house this depressed era    winter
summer you say I’m really your friend  I believe
it now but before in the spring    it was pinwheels

could’ve been poets seeking nothing but tea   coffee
chocolates         grand canyon space  understating
worlds of difference     your activism accurate

paintings hang over white   walls      laughter
your echo screams through town I have a bucket
of these memories splashing out      on the short

walk to your place     I can’t stop feeding   monsters
you laugh at me onscreen    onstage
our common ground is both of us   leave as far

as we can go    to stay an other

(originally published in Avatar Review, Summer 2021)

Lost

It is depressing to walk outside.
No one of no ones, my formlessness
would be dazzling, if you knew to
look, a vapor in the shape of memory.
I know the sensation of a crowd.
Faraway fear of missing out
in my own backyard– back
to that old mindset. Life of
lives– tenth iteration? I have
planted some sense of evolution.
Everyone’s growing gardens,
hunched over greens
of potted soils, warning
the world of rabbits. I
chase the idea I’ll never
be settled anywhere. Love
to be alone but don’t know
what to do with my hands
when I am. Nor could I be
a surgeon. Or a fisherman–
imagine me, who can’t swim,
casting a net into the lake.
A splash of water and I’m
wishing for a wishing well.

(originally published in Pomona Valley Review, Summer 2022)

Float

Presently I am restless.
The television’s flickering
from the bedroom distracts
me from my mind’s reruns.
Last night, I learned to float
on my back for the first time.
It’s all about the ears, my teacher
said, but I am thinking about
her hands– how she held me.
My lower spine. Right leg.
The night before, on her couch,
our kneecaps sat a centimeter
apart, enough to receive each other’s
heat. I recalled a video in which
two water droplets in close proximity
refused to stop reaching for the other,
tirelessly wobbling until
losing strength. Perhaps we
both have been dating others for
too long, afraid of the aftermath.
In the pool, she let me float
into the purple dusk beneath
the bright, orange moon. I was
an egg unformed and drifting,
a body in transition shifting
wherever the pool dictated.
I cannot predict where shooting
stars appear in thin atmosphere air,
nor how far they’ll go, only that
they are doomed to disappear.

(originally published in Raised Brow Press, Summer 2020)

Red String

the road to dream is knotted
tangled          never broken
early mornings Santa Clarita

studio beneath setting moon
we talked     bright futures
in film reel and photograph

just two in a crowd afraid
of its own shadows        of
stepping out into the light

and not being recognized
       yes we have gone our
separate ways              love

and heartbreak heartbreak
and love     cardinal singing
an evening song to lull us

back to valley open full
with ink quill and camera
and old dreams to dream of

(originally published in Agony Opera, Summer 2021)

Protest Beginning in Friendship Park (Pittsburgh, June 5, 2020)

It is not enough
to not be
racist. Heresy
to remove
your mask
and cough.
White men
move
their mask
and cough
into a crowd.
We are still
supposed to be
distant. Now
I can’t clean myself
enough off. Blood
on my hands
after hundreds
of years. Yet
we chant the system
has gone on
too long. We look
into a chaos
of fog & tear
gas smoke.
I am lucky
to live
this long.
We must peel
all the saturated
paint off America’s
crumbling walls
and build a new
house.

(originally published in Breathe, May 2021)

April 14, 2008

after inflatables
        and Friday night I went to the House
        after making fun of King
        Kong with the brothers
                Dance Marathon we first talked
                then went to Pizza King with Dabs
        accepted oxygen in my water as trees
        dead napkins we returned to Constitution
                played sober via HORSE
                with bottle and recycle bin

earlier I helped Gary with the Poker Mixer
           it was either the cheesy bread
           or Gatorade that got me
     we went to Walgreen’s for beef jerky
           along the way we stopped at Sara’s for Orloff
           at Fisher’s for refried beans

(originally published in Literary Forest, Fall 2022)