Low-Visibility Night Drive Home

                            For Tarik

highway needles appear
fast white lines I bullet
along an aimless angle
fate a roll of die half my
life I have had my license
tonight asphalt is slippery
and tenuous when I spend
too much time alone only
the hum of engine knowing
tires hiss more air the further
I go do not devalue yourself
the chanting mass says my
head loud roiling in ninety-mile
-per-hour grief I did not know
Tarik as well as those who knew
but I miss him should have
called in this ubiquitous darkness
smoke leather peeling off my
ten-year steering wheel a passing
truck sprays my windshield
mist this sharp steady rain Reek
drove a convertible he may have
been drenched but he would
have laughed made it seem okay
if I knew his misery if I could
see behind his laughter
mask the off-ramp winding
curve onto the final highway
home in his deep empathy
Reek drove this stretch of night
after switching off his lights

(originally published in Fine Lines, Fall 2021)

Rarely Drive These Days

Left at the light was the first move.
We observed traffic– cats watching
the world through a window. When
was the last time we were downtown?
All that population. And still no sign
of nature. Yes, of course, the bridges
twist into cyberpunk pretzels. I’ve
considered apocalypse but not like
this: a thousand bullets shooting
up the expressway toward a
vague conclusion.

(originally published in Viral Imaginations: COVID-19, Winter 2021)

32nd Birthday (Quarantine)

yesterday felt a few years older
but not in a wisdom way rather
the heartburn et cetera & today
we could meet somewhere in
the middle of the highway vines
creeping underneath its floor
boards with boombox boom fire
working no one I know knows
anyone recently & your faces
have faded into pixelated versions
of your best selves I have faith
in you but fuck God congregations
I do not blame ducks for soaring
off ponds at the faintest ripple but
maybe I left home a little too late
I sat in the basement drinking Carlo
Rossi reds I thought then it was now
or never

(originally published in Windows Facing Windows Review, Winter 2021)

Din

If able to shield the cat who lives
with me from loud and unexpected noises,
I will press him to my chest and carry him
over to the staircase before pushing
down the coffee grinder, cup my hands
to his ears once the vacuum starts
running (though a gentle act of palms
on his party-hat ears is already enough
to make him sprint in the opposite direction).
Kingsford has grown used to gunshots on
television, but I can do nothing for the
barrage of fireworks leading up to
America’s Independence
Day, nor conspiracy theories
which run rampant in the sky
(because what better a home
for fake facts than fireworks–
impossibly deafening bursts of light
in the night). Recently, I have been
joking that I can talk to him one-
on-one in a shared animal language,
and he looks to the wall to relay
the story of some spider who skulked
across chipped paint in the morning
hours, above where I slept,
deep in a dream louder
than any external noise–
enough to quell the sort
of revelation that makes
me believe our futures
are fucked. I wake up
refreshed enough to wait
for the day’s new din
of whatever war’s
beating on our screens
and walls and
my heavying heart.

(originally published in Subnivean, Winter 2021)

Now That It Is Safe to Go Outside

The contractors both my neighbors hired
may try to talk at me and what to do

then? Play normal? I have spent these solitary
days cataloguing the cotton candy no one

knows inside me. I try to get the gunk out
but it is sticky! Gigantic pink globules!

Therapy says all is okay in moderation–
or is that a nutritional idiom? Look,

loneliness drives toxicity to confession.
I polluted air around me for years and now

you want me to open my door to the world?

(originally published in Chronogram, Spring 2021)

Rollbacks

The American
disease: ills of

environmental overload
but these stings

are far more sophisticated
than thought

and soon we will
even overspend

on food all with a
residue at our plates

our heads will Ɵ∙∙∙ Ɵ∙∙ turn Ɵ∙∙∙
to the upcoming void Ɵ∙∙∙ our air Ɵ∙∙∙ Ɵ∙∙

(originally published in The Literary Heist, Winter 2021)

Gaze Down Not Eyes

skies are gray my mind
lives having dug through
refrigerator for the cookie
I thought Mark bicycled
more instead I went to
salami town I burnt
a hot dog yesterday
for backyard freedom
the weeds are cut
behind the wire
and we are paranoid
of visitors someone
knocked on our door
time turned to trickle
last week a snowstorm
somehow but I have not
witnessed any weather
in a while I avoid outside
and outside avoids
me we always have
had an awkward
wave as we both
put our heads down
then move quickly
another direction

(originally published in Subnivean Magazine, Winter 2021)

December, 2020

I don’t have a new perspective.
Snow thaws on sidewalk beside
uncollected garbage. Half the city

workers are in quarantine yet
there are boxes to be shipped
for Christmas or our mothers’

birthdays. I drove on dew
streets to buy you bagels–
but stopped at the sight of

a long line to retreat into
the O of your arms in my
mind. Please park

your car next to mine.
We will sit in our usual
distance and wait for spring.

(originally published in Dodging the Rain, Winter 2021)

Some Crimson Planet

When I am lonely,
it helps to not think
of the universe. I imagine

Earth buried in the darkest
cemetery, a headstone
with some space separating

it from the next.
I know there must be a
tenderness quotient

in the cosmos, a rose
on some crimson planet
blooming tall to wave

at me, its petals drifting
aimlessly through
a garden of light-

years. This distance
is more collective
than we know.

(originally published in South Florida Poetry Journal, Fall 2020)