The Film

Sometimes I sit at a café window
watching pedestrians pass and I think

all the people in this life I’ll never
know,
these strangers in the space

we share, an unseen assistant
director setting up the scene and

critics will leave harsh reviews for lack of
dramatic irony, or subtle comedy, whatever

the previous scene sets up, or seemed to
be leading to, but the longer I move

through its runtime, the more I fear
a lack of coherence, that Chekhov’s

son never grows into what Chekhov
demands– the boy dies a few acts

later, randomly, and still the film marches
on, aiming the lens high toward some plastic

profundity with its pervasive god
and blue sky gazing through a tall

circle of trees, leaves swaying, keyboard
guitar, so frustrating, and later will be an op-ed

from the Production Coordinator that outlines
the sacrifices needed when the rented lens

shattered, dropped from a rooftop, costing a
hundred thousand, and the producers had yelled

about budget cuts yet still wanted an endless
duration, excess cast members extricated with

no follow-up but others too much, your dead
dad referenced with each hailstorm, you grow

tired of the metaphor then sit in the park
watching people pass when a past lover

from act twenty-seven enters stage left
with a pup and you wave, a stunt, restless

limb, in case she asks, which she won’t,
she’ll avoid eye contact because she is

no longer in the contract, can’t say a word
without pay, but still she will

wonder if you are the same actor,
and I’ll have to rewind a long while

to see if you are.

(originally published in A God You Believed In [Pinhole Poetry, 2023])

deeply a pot of cheap ramen

betting is fun I bet were I rich I would lose a lot
more than now losing’s not a competition though
at its core it is an apple beneath a heap of peaches
shower soap I never liked peaches have you ever
sniffed steam emanating from chicken Top Ramen
it is not clean it is not soap I dispose of everything
the flame I inhale plastic I ingest plastic waiting on
the clock to change from 12:23 to 12:24 I pour my meal
into plate-bowl snorting steam never inhale too deeply a
pot of cheap ramen I know I am saving money I know I am
betting a lot on fake economies blowing my breath onto
unpackaged carcinogens Michael once said in our apartment he
hoped to never see me eat this shit again this was years ago
soggy noodle soup coiled springs I hold in my mouth tongue
salt nothing but the salt I then lick off my chin it’s nothing just
pennies of salt I will be hungry again soon so why must I savor
every writhing U at bowl’s bottom like each bite will be my last

(originally published in Count Seeds With Me [Ethel Zine & Micro-Press], Spring, 2022)

Watering a Flower

  

Meditation is mellifluous
melody ignoring the choo-
choo train inside my head,

but I have been growing
better, forth in time.
There are meadows

I will never enter – renter
of everything. Nothing I meet
in this life I keep. Honest. Lover

bearing forever strands
of hair? God, infinity is
so infinite when glimpsed.

Such the rose moon
grows on this
specific sky.

(originally published in Count Seeds With Me, Spring 2022)

The Bucket

Ripples of water
extend into days

we are wordless
with each other.

A storm breaks,
a dog whimpers.

We hear the groaning
Earth shifting

over countless hours
into the endless sea.

I’ve had enough
of windows,

where dreams
are a quick glance

over another
unfinished drink

in the middle
of the day.

(originally published in Count Seeds With Me, Spring 2022)

Acre

You count seeds with me
and I am tired of countable things.
When I count them, they…

they… stay the same. All
in order like a motor
in my clockwork.

Yet I plant seeds
and you plant trees and
I pick flowers while you

pick flowers and I wonder who
becomes the failure.
I plant the same seeds

but you… you… grow
into something new.
There are petals or there aren’t.

We sprout from the same earth. I need
to water this something-patch-of-dirt.
If I do, I will feel. Something.

(originally published in Subnivean, Winter 2021)

Chapbook Release: ‘The Frayed Edge of Memory’

Today’s a bit of a special day for me: my first poetry chapbook, ‘The Frayed Edge of Memory’ (Writing Knights Press) has released and is now available for purchase! It’s 44 pages and only $8 for a physical copy. Really excited for you to read it! Thank you so much for your support.

Two sample poems that are in the book: ‘Gate C55’ and ‘Short Return to Los Angeles’

(Goodreads)