and I should have been sad
but look my car has passed
you I drive ninety-five west
on I-80 in a who-cares lane
though now I am becoming
anxious in this fantasy as a
rebel driver I realize I
thrust the gas pedal at any
one who laughs with me and
sticks with me and touches
my hand and chest my heart
a thing that thrusts the pedal
until jammed accelerating
I never look out the window
to see landscapes blur
all the fields the same
(originally published in Active Muse, Winter 2019)
all of life’s a draft, shit
foaming to the top, froth
of your father coursing
through you as you work
the days and nights and
women from your
life, another drink
ever present at your
lip, you try to
make the writing
work, you work to
make the writing
worth more than
your own
(originally published in datura, Fall 2019)
in the dark of grimy
bars floral couches live
feathers (what a thrill beneath
neon green) in view of Saint
Maria’s grand brick parish
I unclasp Catholicism’s hands
from my neck (backdrop always holy
human touch) how can one believe
in anything other than getting fucked
up loving people at parties
unconditionally my friends I have
forgotten too many nights not
to complete the circle offered
under guidance of compass
and an unsteady hand
flicking the lighter
(originally published in Incessant Pipe, Winter 2021)
a year goes quick but it’s enough of a time shift a mind shift
to pretend we were in paradise with our friends a steaming mug
of cider I had a handle on donning a black wig forgetting
seemed the natural progression of things no masks no monsters
in our midst no guns in our field of vision truly this was
paradise sometimes it seems a risk every time we enter public
space this morning I felt there were sinister forces beyond
my control that I couldn’t blame on hangover it was in the gob
of spider ferns unfolding it was in the wind a stranger waving
to me waiting at a crosswalk America I only feel safe inside
my shadowed home doors locked curtains drawn I felt the lips
of unspeakable tragedy drawing me in for a kiss and I pulled my
mouth away to run to Netflix Mindhunter Manhunt:
Unabomber Dexter so many monsters wearing masks this
paranoia’s a fog lingering never have I wanted a dog more
just to add one layer of protection past the window’s breaking
glass the shards and sharp teeth are everywhere this life if I
knew where to look and where I know I should
(originally published in Carpe Bloom, Winter 2019)